“Am I a Jerk or What!!!”
This week I thought I would re-post an article I first wrote many many years ago when I was an Editor for a Dry Cleaning Association monthly newsletter. Reason being I thought it would be instructive to me from your comments to gauge whether I have Matured or Regressed in my blogging career. Chances are the Post Title “Am I a Jerk or What!!!” is Correct.
Portions reprinted from:
When writing about your life with an honest pen, the effects age has is profound. My tongue has always been a source of embarrassment and humiliation. Both in my professional life as well as my personal. The following is an incident depicting my tongue and mind going stupid.
A few years ago while driving to work at 4:30 am, I suffered a act of stupidity. Mind you now, at that hour I’m not thinking about traffic.(Hey in Fort Collins at that hour there isn’t any.) So I’m allowing my 8.1 liter, 3/4 ton GMC extended cab truck to own the road.(so to speak) Well on this morning while enjoying my trucks performance, my wife noticing that I’m not really watching the road, wrestled my attention away from driving with, “YOUR SWERVING“. Now pay attention guys, this is were I went wrong. Without thinking I responded, “WHAT, DID I SUDDENLY WAKE UP MARRIED“. Oh boy, the silence became deafening.
Later that night, while watching an evening news program on
which the German Prime Minister Gerhard Schroeder was
speaking. My lovely sweet wife turned to me and said, “Are you related to Gerhard Schroeder.” “No”, I responded, “Schroeder is a pretty common German name”. “Oh”, she says, “I just thought you might be, because his Chin looks like one of yours”.
Alright it’s time to “LET’S RUMBLE“. But first I went to the
bathroom verify that she is really just putting it to me. Son of a
Gun, she’s right, one of my three chins does resemble the Prime
Ministers. Okay, Diet and exercise, the two most repulsive words in my life, are now to be my daily fare. Diet is okay, but exercise is the one thing I loath. I refuse to go to a gym and expose my rather expansive rolls to the lean and mean yuppies who display their goods like Victoria Secrets or Charles Atlas models. So to the Internet I go. After much research, I choose my weapons. A Elliptical cross trainer and a Heart monitoring Treadmill. I made the deal and now am in receipt of them, which also has put my credit card on a Red Alert status.
I had intended to make updates on my progress towards the ‘Healthy Lifestyle‘, baring of course my Heart monitor not going to ‘FLAT LINE‘ mode. But now, many years later, I still have my three chins, while gaining a room full on expensive equipment. I also have gained wisdom by experiencing how the tongue is the rudder that steers your life though your “Garden of Good and Evil.”
I'm a 74 year old man who loves this new medium of Blogging. I am also an Senior Manager in Send Out Cards which gives me a superior method of relating to the world through Greeting Cards. I have met and enjoyed wonderful friends who support me and actually LIKE me which is very rewarding. My online presence is growing and if I can hang on to life I will reap the benefits of establishing a business that will comfort me when I get old. Mostly however I Blog about my life which for some strange reason is well received. Like most of us the future is scary and the remembrance of older days give a measure of comfort. So I continue to reveal the past with optimism that the future will some day be the comfort of somebody else.18 Comments
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Nelson – I think you must have always had the knack of being a great writer and communicator – well that is minus the “wife” comment! haha This is just as good as all of your posts and just as funny – at your expense of course:)
.-= Glyna Humm´s last blog ..Are You Using Appreciation Marketing to Build Your Home Business? =-.
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Nelson Schroeder Reply:
May 17th, 2010 at 5:59 am
Glyna, tongue in cheek is what I do best when writing. Jo Ann, my wife, is my life, and my best friend. She loves it when I spoof us because we have never had a hateful cross word in our entire marriage. We both practice the Biblical admonition of “never let the Sun go down on your wrath”. Life is so much “Funner” when you do that.
.-= Nelson Schroeder´s last blog ..“Am I a Jerk or What!!!” =-.
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Nelson, I enjoyed this story so much. You are a great writer, keep them coming. You come from an honest place all the time and speak your mind. How can you go wrong with that?
I totally agree with the “diet and exercise” Those words are on my not to do list haha.
Instead I use the words eating well and having fun walking my dog or having fun in the pool at the gym, so I can sit in the sauna after. Words are powerful. Eliminate Diet – such a nasty word that is associated with deprivation. Eliminate exercise because we get that picture of a gym where people are running on the treadmills until they get a knee injury.
Exercise can be any form of moving your body. Want to dance?
.-= Donna Merrill´s last blog ..MLM Online Marketing =-.
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Nelson Schroeder Reply:
May 17th, 2010 at 6:05 am
Funny you should bring up dancing. When I was in my 20′s a couple centuries ago, I was really quite the “Jitter Bugger”. I wish I had kept it up. Today I seem to have two Left Feet. Oh the memories. Move Nelson, turn the page. Donna your the best, thanks for stopping by.
.-= Nelson Schroeder´s last blog ..“Am I a Jerk or What!!!” =-.
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Nelson,
This is a great post, no matter when it was written. I cannot imagine you as anything but kind and generous. I have a feeling you two have a very spirited and wonderful relationship.
I agree with Donna about changing your words. It’s amazing how that little change can make a huge impact on your state of mind!
Keep ‘em coming. I totally enjoy your stories!
Val
.-= Val Wilcox´s last blog ..Discover Your Purpose in Life =-.
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Nelson Schroeder Reply:
May 17th, 2010 at 10:27 am
Working in the garden this morning. Not sure what is harder to push around. The dirt or my BELLY. Gotta @&%!. There I didn’t say it.
.-= Nelson Schroeder´s last blog ..“Am I a Jerk or What!!!” =-.
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Nelson,
Dude you crack me up. That casual Friday cartoon is just too much! LOL And we will have no flat line monitors in this tribe! Thank you for always bringing a smile to my face!
Krista
.-= Krista Abbott´s last blog ..Recycled Dreams =-.
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Nelson Schroeder Reply:
May 21st, 2010 at 7:23 am
Dude!!! Your making me feel so young Krista. For that I thank you. I need all the youth I can beg, borrow, or steal. Your always a cheerful welcome person to my blog. Thanks.
.-= Nelson Schroeder´s last blog ..“Am I a Jerk or What!!!” =-.
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You’re casual Fridays cartoon is the best! Sounds like its time to start enjoying that gardening, regardless of which dirt your pushing around, and take care of yourself. We enjoy your blog and we want you around for many years to come!
.-= Kimberly Castleberry´s last blog ..How To Make A Link Open In A New Window in WordPress =-.
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Nelson Schroeder Reply:
May 21st, 2010 at 7:39 am
Hi Kimberly, that cartoon I have been using for probably ten years. I speaks to the way the internet has changed the culture. Unfortunately it does have some personal characteristics that resemble me.
.-= Nelson Schroeder´s last blog ..“Am I a Jerk or What!!!” =-.
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Nelson,
Am I glad I read your delightful post and that funny picture makes me smile. When I came to your page, a few times, all I saw was the words “Market to Market Entrepenerus” and I assumed you were just selling some MLM products. But then, tonight, I looked past those words and realized that you were putting quotes. And then I found your blog. Now I am hooked on your writing and your sincere self. And I just learned another valuable lesson about online connecting.
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Nelson Schroeder Reply:
May 21st, 2010 at 7:15 am
Erica, May I call you Erica. The purpose of my Blog has been from the outset a vehicle to enter in a relationship with the reader. Of course a byproduct of this is readership loyalty and trust in me will make the other links become relevant to the reader and hopefully sales or enrollments . Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving such a gracious comment. My door is always open and the coffee is hot.
.-= Nelson Schroeder´s last blog ..“Am I a Jerk or What!!!” =-.
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I am still laughing at that great cartoon…your blog is amazing…Kudo’s to you!
.-= Tim Somers´s last blog ..Appreciation Marketing The Key To Customer Loyalty =-.
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washouse Reply:
May 22nd, 2010 at 6:10 am
Welcome fellow SOC’er. Thanks for dropping by. The Brethren are always welcome. You can leave some Brownies anytime.
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Nelson, you are awesome. You crack me up every single time I’m here on your blog or on a skype call with you ~ you have a gift with your tongue and cheek comments, so keep on sharing your wisdom and wackiness!
.-= Beth Allen´s last blog ..Networking Superstars & TSA Merge and Create Powerful Free Traffic for YOU! =-.
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Nelson Schroeder Reply:
May 22nd, 2010 at 2:50 pm
Okay Beth, you win. I’m officially moving you to my “I love you column”. That place has reserved in the past for Blonds. But on the serious side I think you exemplify what it mean to be a Tribe Leader. Your the best.
.-= Nelson Schroeder´s last blog ..Stories in My Mind =-.
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I love that someone from (how do I say this without taking a stab at age) a different generation, has taken to social marketing. I have a friend who is probably a good 40 or more years older than me (and I am roughly 37 but who’s counting) who wants to start a blog. I keep telling him he can do it, why not? He has boxes and boxes of manuscripts in his closet that he is doing nothing with! He is a great writer and if you don’t mind, and I am sure you wont, I am going to send him to your blog. I love your wit, intelligence and confidence. Thanks for sharing.
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washouse Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 5:57 am
By all means Nicole send him in. However if you want to really help him, get him into the Tribe where he can learn from others how to set up a blog and get onto the Internet Super Highway. Just caution him to stay in the right lane at first so he won’t get run over. For us of that (different) generation writing and blogging helps to keep the “Mad Cow Disease” from stealing our lives. Thanks for stopping by and drop in anytime for coffee.
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