Posts by Nelson:
The Tree Surgeon
It was 5 pm and the traffic was at crawl when Homeward bound motorist noticed a Tree Surgeon dangling from a Pine tree over their heads like a Christmas Tree ornament. Suspected comments probably ranged from “O My God” to “What a Dumb Ass”, and in typical Philadelphian manner they just kept moving preserving their reputation earned when they booed Santa Claus in a Thanksgiving Parade.
I suppose the genesis for this unfortunate incident might have been the day I decided to purchase a Tri-Fuel Boiler for the house. You know, one of those units that burns either Wood, Coal or Oil. I had become obsessed with the idea that I could heat our home more economically by having the options of burning wood or coal and use oil as a backup source of energy. Not bad thinking on the surface if you ignore the labor factor. Coal was much cheaper than oil and I was experienced in maintaining a well banked fire from my early days when I cleaned coal bins and keep a coal furnace fired and stoked.
Naturally the passage of time erases the memories of the disadvantages associated with those days, like coal dust, shoveling of coal, and the disposal of the ashes. But hey, this Tri-Fuel puppy also burns wood and that put me in another life cycle of looking for and hauling home every piece of wood my eye could spot. I’m now “Paul Bunyan” and purchasing all sorts of equipment to assist me in this new Wilderness Style Lifestyle.
Ever hear of the Chopper 1 Axe. I used this amazing axe for splitting logs I brought home. But I needed Chain Saw to be able to get logs in my cars trunk so I spend $80.00 dollars on the Chopper 1 axe and $90.00 on a “Homelite 16 inch Chainsaw”. Combining these cost with the $5,000 dollars for the Tri-Fuel Furnace we’re starting to talk real money here. But I not finished yet. I’ve yet to solve the heating of my office which is on an enclosed unheated porch. So off I go to find a heating source for the Office. That’s when I discovered those air tight wood or pellet Burning stoves. So while I’m buying the stove the Office I think why not pick up an air tight Wood burning insert for the living room fire place. After all if I’m going to make this change in lifestyle why not go all the way. I purchase the office stove and the Fireplace insert adding $900.00 for the office stove and $1,100.00 for the fireplace insert to the investment above. Chump change compared to the Thousands I’ll be saving in fuel cost,right.
Now all I need is Coal, Wood and Oil. The Coal and Oil are easy. A phone call plus money and Wa La they’re delivered and stored in a relatively small space. Wood, now that is another matter. A cord of wood measures 4′ wide by 4′ high and 8′ long, or 128 cubic feet. So my task is now to gather Four cords of wood, the amount I estimated it would take to run the two stoves and the Furnace for three months. I planned to store the wood in our two car garage and park the cars outside for the Winter. This is not an easy task, but fortunately I was young and Stupid, and harbored no limiting fears.
About this time I was taking both of my children to the Orthodontist for braces. I sure most of you have experienced the gripping terror when you discovered how much a pretty smile for little Johnny or Mary cost. Peanuts compared to my “Paul Bunyan” experiment. However as luck would have it my Orthodontist worked out of her home which was an estate of some size with many many large trees and she had a need and I had a bill. A deal was made where I was to take down one really huge Oak Tree (4′ dia. and really tall) and a Pine tree that was leaning and about to fall for Orthodontic services rendered.
In steps the “Tree Surgeon“, a good friend and client of mine, who was a Preacher in a small county Church. When I told him of my problem he said “Nelson, let me help you. I can take down that tree in about five hours and all you will have do is cut it up and haul it home.” Talk about answered prayer. And who better to receive it from than a person in good standing with the LORD. Good as his word the mighty Oak came down and for the next week I hauled close to 8 cords of wood home to be split and stacked in the garage.
Wondering about the leaning Pine tree aren’t you? Yep, now for the sad part of this tale. My friend after a few instructions lent me his climbing equipment. The Belt, Climbing spikes, and various ropes to tie off and let down safely what I dismembered from the tree. Everything went well for the first thirty feet. I was a tree climbing and tree cutting fool. That is until I reached the top when I became just a tree climbing FOOL. Remember when I said that it was a Pine tree that was leaning. Well as I got to the top, the trunk was much smaller and the tree was leaning out over the road, I started to doubt my trust in leaning out from the tree and letting the climbers belt hold me. I instead started to lean into the tree and oops, it happened. Those leg spikes came loose from the tree and I found myself hanging by the belt which was to working its’ way up my body. Thank GOD for Arms and Arm pits or I would have become a real ugly Traffic Cone on the road below.
Dangling with my face smudged against the tree and my chainsaw hanging from the belt which is now around my chest, I from my closet of prayer said ” LORD any chance you can lend a hand here“ The answer of course is the fact I’m here penning this woefully embarrassing experience. There are times in life where you reflect, Wow I could have been killed if I had not been so lucky. However through this Episode I did survived with my stupidity still intact to perform again on another day some other incredibly stupid act.
I'm a 73 year old man who loves this new medium of Blogging. I am also an Senior Manager in Send Out Cards which gives me a superior method of relating to the world through Greeting Cards. I have met and enjoyed wonderful friends who support me and actually LIKE me which is very rewarding. My online presence is growing and if I can hang on to life I will reap the benefits of establishing a business that will comfort me when I get old. Mostly however I Blog about my life which for some strange reason is well received. Like most of us the future is scary and the remembrance of older days give a measure of comfort. So I continue to reveal the past with optimism that the future will some day be the comfort of somebody else.
“The Black Whip, Part 2″
With my twenty five cents in hand surrounded several dozen noisy kids we storm the Movie theater. Zorro’s Black Whip is about to begin. When we left last week Zorro was rescuing a Damsel from inside the Stage Coach as it was going off the Cliff. Like wise last week I was staring at the [...]
“The Black Whip”
Saturdays with hundreds of other screaming kids at the Lehigh Ave theater I would be watching “The Black Whip” serial movies. Those Saturday Matinees would show one chapter each week with nail biting endings drawing the kids back to see what happen next week after the “Stage Coach” went off the cliff. This and other [...]
Promptings
He laid there hidden by the bush for hours. Two women, oblivious to the bush and its’ hidden secret, just continued batting tennis balls, back and forth, back and forth, until finally one ball sails over the fence. The forerunner to his body’s discovery was now the tennis ball for it landed next to his [...]
“The Starboard Gunwhale”
The Starboard Gunwhale (a nautical term describing the top edge of the side of a boat pronounced “gunnel”) of a ten foot row boat was crushing my chest while gallons of water began to drown me. My Life did not flash before my eyes like some would think, but thoughts of “You stupid idiot” did. [...]
“Only on the Black Keys”
The ship was taking on water from the storm at an alarming rate and the possibility of the vessel broaching became eminent. Over five hundred passengers plus the crew had little hope for survival from the raging sea. The Captain fearing the worst stood alone on the deck crying out for “GOD have mercy” [...]
“Ride Em Cowboy”
We were so excited! Our second home was a small ranch with living room that had a beautiful beamed Cathedral ceiling. Hold it, you have now idea where I starting with this saga. Sorry, the year is 1968 and I’m married with two children, a son ten and a daughter six. We had just purchased [...]
“He was Voted Most Likely To Not Make It”
Good looks he had plenty, but his penchant for trouble out weighed them. Ever see a new born puppy fighting to get in line to be fed. That would be him, trouble was his meal and bad behavior his dessert. “Voted Him Most Likely To Not Make It” could easily be the consensus if his [...]
“The Latchkey Kid”
I , like many others from my early years, was known as a “Latchkey” child. The harshness of those days on families demanded that children at a young age assume adult responsibilities for their lives while the parent (usually a single Mother) was at work. Thus the term “Latchkey Kid“. A term meaning to be [...]
“RE: The Little Pager that Could”
I’ve been researching this week articles for background information to use in my next Post. The title looks like it might be “Only the Black Keys”, but that may change. So today to give myself more time to sort things out, I went into the Archives and am re-posting this piece I wrote last March. [...]
-
-
-
Do You Want More Referrals?
-
Are Ready for Your Own At Home Business?
