Bite my tongue!

When writing about your life with an honest pen, the effects age has is profound. My tongue has always been a source of embarrassment and humiliation. Both in my professional life as well as my personal. The following is an incident depicting my tongue and mind going stupid.

A few years ago while driving to work at 4:30 am, I suffered a act of stupidity. Mind you now, at that hour I’m not thinking about traffic.(Hey in Fort Collins at that hour there isn’t any.) So I’m allowing my 8.1 liter, 3/4 ton GMC extended cab truck to own the road.(so to speak) Well on this morning while enjoying my trucks performance, my wife noticing that I’m not really watching the road, wrestled my attention away from driving with, “YOUR SWERVING”. Now pay attention guys, this is were I went wrong. Without thinking I responded, “WHAT, DID I SUDDENLY WAKE UP MARRIED”. Oh boy, the silence became deafening.

Later that night, while watching an evening news program on
which the German Prime Minister Gerhard Schroeder was
speaking. My lovely sweet wife turned to me and said, “Are you related to Gerhard Schroeder.” “No”, I responded, “Schroeder is a pretty common German name”. “Oh”, she says, “I just thought you might be, because his Chin looks like one of yours”.

Alright it’s time to “LET’S RUMBLE”. But first I went to the
bathroom verify that she is really just putting it to me. Son of a
Gun, she’s right, one of my three chins does resemble the Prime
Ministers. Okay, Diet and exercise, the two most repulsive words in my life, are now to be my daily fare. Diet is okay, but exercise is the one thing I loath. I refuse to go to a gym and expose my rather expansive rolls to the lean and mean yuppies who display their goods like Victoria Secrets or Charles Atlas models. So to the Internet I go. After much research, I choose my weapons. A Elliptical cross trainer and a Heart monitoring Treadmill. I made the deal and now am in receipt of them, which also has put my credit card on a Red Alert status.

I had intended to make updates on my progress towards the ‘Healthy Lifestyle’, baring of course my Heart monitor not going to ‘FLAT LINE’ mode. But now, many years later, I still have my three chins, while gaining a room full on expensive equipment. I also have gained wisdom by experiencing how the tongue is the rudder that steers your life though the “Garden of Good and Evil.”