“Cocoon”
As I laid there, metaphorically speaking, staring at the inside of the Cocoon where I had placed myself last December just before Christmas, with recurring thoughts of “get your butt in gear Old Boy or the world will have seen the last of you “hammering my ego. Without a lengthy digression let’s just say Christmas is not a favorite time of year for me. Lots’ of History there leaving me always pushing to get it over and start the New Year.
With the finishing of my last Blog, “Meet me at the Eagle”, I took my old Man’s body and mentally shut down much like the ugly caterpillar does when spinning itself into a cocoon to wait for that glorious day when it emerges as a work of beauty spreading its’ wings and flying off to caress the World. Well so much for that Fantasy. I always emerge old, wrinkled and just as ugly when I entered my self imposed isolation. Sometimes life is just life, a journey with a certain end, and no amount of wishful dreaming can change it.
Not totally without thoughts in my Cocoon, I often drift through my Garden of Good and Evil thinking of my Mother. A popular early Television in 1948 was titled ” I remember Mama”. I identified with this show because the young son play by Dick Van Patton was named “Nels”, my most used Moniker. And like that Norwegian Mother, my Mama displayed much of her common sense only without the accent. One of the most pleasant memories I have of Mother was her method of pushing me to think and concentrate. Often on the weekends as I was getting ready for bed I would jump into Moms bed and beg her to scratch my back. But rather than just scratch she would have me play a word guessing game. Taking her long finger nails to my scrawny back she would spell words and make me guess them.
But not all the time in my Cocoon was spent with thoughts. Men, especially the old ones, have learned to build compartments in their minds. Little boxes. One for the car, one for the Honey Do List, actually we have boxes for every interaction we encounter. The important things about these mental boxes is we never mix them together. We even have a box that is empty. This box allows us to Fly Fish, watch reruns for the tenth time, and the best of all to not heard anytime the wife is saying when the Empty box is open.
I first learned to use the Empty Box when I was only seven. I left home to go to the movies at 12 noon. I can not even remember what show I was watching. I only remember that my Mother was standing at the end of the row calling in a loud whisper, Nelson, Nelson, Nelson, come here. Seems I had found the Empty Box and opened it. I went in the Movies at Noontime and was now being drug out by my Ear Lobes at Seven. My first time in my Empty Box lasted Seven Hours. My learned usage of this “Talent” called “The Empty Box” is to relax and unwind. Recently I read a FB post from a friend. “One who can be alone with themselves doing nothing for hours and not feel guilty has a higher level of Intelligence”. Of course I comment back to her post. ” Gee, and all this time I thought I was just Lazy.”
What is clumsily penned here is that it is all right to go into your mental Cocoon to do or think of nothing. You’ll know when it is time to emerge and again interact with the world. And so it is with me. I’m out of the Cocoon and back in the game. Still Old, Still ugly, but rested and full of P&V.
I'm a 74 year old man who loves this new medium of Blogging. I am also an Senior Manager in Send Out Cards which gives me a superior method of relating to the world through Greeting Cards. I have met and enjoyed wonderful friends who support me and actually LIKE me which is very rewarding. My online presence is growing and if I can hang on to life I will reap the benefits of establishing a business that will comfort me when I get old. Mostly however I Blog about my life which for some strange reason is well received. Like most of us the future is scary and the remembrance of older days give a measure of comfort. So I continue to reveal the past with optimism that the future will some day be the comfort of somebody else.27 Comments
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Steve L. Vernon, Nelson Schroeder. Nelson Schroeder said: “Cocoon” http://bit.ly/gkdAdw Back in the game again. Still old, still ugly, but rested and full of P&V [...]
Nelson, That is so funny, and so true. I never did understand the empty box, but I believe it is the largest and most used:) hehe. Thanks for sharing your enlightening stories.
Sandra´s last [type] ..4 ways that you can use to stay in-touch with clients- without breaking the bank!
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Nelson Reply:
February 5th, 2011 at 11:19 am
Sandra, thank you for commenting and I’m glad to help you understand the male species. We really don’t have much going for us when it comes to competing with you gals. That’s why GOD gave us the “Nothing Box” Something to entertain us with out screwing up.
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Thanks Nelson for sharing and opening your heart, I really enjoying reading your posts.. I would agree about the boxes!!( especially with men as being married and having 4 sons ) and personally trying to understand the male species!!!. Its okay to take time out and enjoy it and not feel guilty!! This video is hilarious because I know first hand that men have a box with nothing in it and I’m okay with that !! LOL
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Nelson Reply:
February 5th, 2011 at 11:14 am
Just when you think you got us figured out Kaye, we build another box and label it “Drive her crazy Box”
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Funny how life shifts and changes over time. I too am living in a houseful of “men” right now. But it wasn’t always that way.
When our son James was little, he was the only boy in a houseful of sisters… one older and two younger. He was 7 before his first brother came along… followed by another when he was 9, and a third when he was 15.
Four years ago, all 7 of our children still lived at home. In April of that year, all three girls moved away to share an apartment across the road from the nursing home where they all worked. That left me at home with hubby and 4 sons!
I’m still learning the mysteries of the male mind…
I don’t mind spending time with Me in my own Cocoon, but sometimes I do wish I could slow down this Turbo Brain of mine.
Willena Flewelling
Willena Flewelling´s last [type] ..Be Careful – For Every Mark Will Show
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Nelson Reply:
February 5th, 2011 at 11:13 am
Not sure Willena if you can. It’s a woman things to be wired. And frankly I wouldn’t have it any other way because women are the Bed Rock of the home. Somebody’s got to be in charge.
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Nelson,
Your blog posts are always touching and often get me reminiscing about my own childhood. That cocoon or empty box has always puzzled me; I kind of envied the way men could compartmentalize different aspect of their lives – and at times to not manage to “hear” the words of their woman. Thanks for sharing this fun post.
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone´s last [type] ..Illness – Are YOU Prepared
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Nelson Reply:
February 5th, 2011 at 11:10 am
Always glad Erica to oblige. I get much joy and comfort reminiscing. Perhaps there is some underlying Physiological problem. Know any good Shrink?
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Hi Nelson,
The empty box and especially compartmentalising the mind is so true!
It keeps things straightforward and disciplined.
Especially in such important matters as finance, business, family and creed.
Yasser
Yasser Khan´s last [type] ..How to Sell Anything To Anyone During Good Times…Or Bad
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Nelson Reply:
February 5th, 2011 at 11:06 am
Yasser, I have boxes for everything. Even for things that have no real usage or meaning. I can escape anytime by thinking of something I have an interest in and low and behold I can turn it into another “Nothing Box”. I believe it is called day dreaming.
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Nelson,
I love that video! I saw it a few months ago & realized how very accurate it is. It’s helped me when I think of directing my guy’s attention to certain things when he’s doing something else. LOL I’m learning!
Nothing at all wrong with going within to refine & refit your direction. Glad you have emerged whole and well from your cocoon. I so enjoy your stories.
Val
Val Wilcox´s last [type] ..Where Did THAT Come From
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Nelson Reply:
February 5th, 2011 at 11:02 am
Great set of videos Mark Gungor has done. Very funny and very real. Good luck with your guy. You do know Val that he has more than one “Nothing Box” as a back up to your messing with his mind.
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Val Wilcox Reply:
February 8th, 2011 at 8:59 am
Oh great! Now you tell me! Thanks Nelson
Val Wilcox´s last [type] ..Everyone Needs Stress Breakers
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Nelson,
What inspiration!! We spend way too much of our time going places, doing things, making sure everything is perfect. Cocooning is a fabulous idea… and a great way to (as you so eloquently said) “rested and full of P & V”.
It’s also a great way to shut out all the distractions, be alone, and possibly find our creative genius.
Here’s to you, Nelson… one of the most creative geniuses we know
Thanks,
~ Pat and Lorna
http://TheCoolestCouple.com
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Nelson Reply:
February 5th, 2011 at 10:59 am
Yea Pat, but the problem is you come out looking beautiful. I always look the same. Yuck
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Wow, I just learned SO much about my husband through this post!
Nelson, I am glad you honored the time in your cocoon and emerged when you were truly ready. I sometimes find myself wanting to retreat within, knowing I need a break, but feel the pressure of expectations, the pace of life, etc. I do meditate, and that is truly my favorite time of day, but it’ a fixed amount of time in the empty box, not just completely letting myself get lost in it. I really do wonder what that would look like! Hmmm….:)
Thanks for the enlightening and inspiring post, Nelson!
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Nelson Reply:
February 5th, 2011 at 10:57 am
Oops, perhaps I shouldn’t have revealed the secret of our empty box. Now our women will start to climb in there with us and now it will no longer be an “Nothing Box” because you girls will start to clutter it up with stuff. Just kidding Beth!
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Hi Nelson,
As usual, highly entertaining. I really enjoyed your post and video. It’s a great way to end the week ~ with a smile….and it rang so true. I’m sure it’s one of the laws of nature (the nothing box) that absolutely everyone can relate to
Thanks so much.
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Nelson Reply:
February 5th, 2011 at 10:53 am
Linnea, I always try to end my week with a smile. It gives me the wanting to keep it on for the week end. Very relaxing to enjoy a couple days with out worry.
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Oh Nelson! You are such a wonderful person and I am glad you are out of your cocoon! I am with you on not really liking Christmas because of all it’s expectations – none of which is the real reason we should be celebrating it! I am glad you are back in the game and as always full of P & V:)
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Nelson Reply:
February 5th, 2011 at 10:51 am
Ah shucks, If I didn’t have so many wrinkles I would be blushing. Good to see you again Glyna.
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Nelson,
I do so LOVE to read your thoughts and reminiscences! The “empty box” is a good one. When I first read the title “cocoon” I thought of that wonderful movie that had so many lessons about youth and aging and had such an incredible cast. Wonder what you thought of it?
Take care,
Adam
Dr. Adam Sheck´s last [type] ..3 Tools To Reignite Your Relationship By Valentine’s Day
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Nelson Reply:
February 5th, 2011 at 10:49 am
I liked the first Cocoon movie. Rod Howard did an incredible job with the casting. Thanks Adam for being so gracious with your comments.
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Hi Nelson,
I have seen that video before, and laughed all the way through it! It’s so true — everything in my brain is connected to everything else! But there are times — like driving for hours upon hours at a time — where finally the thoughts and connections subside a bit, and I can just “be.” So I’m not so sure men are the only ones with an “empty box.” It just takes us longer to get there : )
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Nelson this is pretty amusing. I believe we do need to retreat from time to time and even though maybe not consciously thinking of something I am sure in this downtime our unconscious is really having its way.
Steve
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I have to actively do something to AVOID the nothing box.
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