“Mother’s Spit”
Saturday nights often were special nights. Those who have read, The Saturday night Bath and Butterkruchen,
remember that my family indulged ourselves in the Saturday ritual of bathing. The Saturday night cleanings often made me presentable enough for dates. These dating opportunities laid the foundation for much of the values that make up what I am today.
But before I get into the saucy details of my social dating, just where does a young man go to impress a lady? That’s where my Mother came to my rescue. Chinatown! Mother loved culture and she took great pains to see her youngest get exposed to a life not lived in our neighborhood. The first time I saw Chinatown I couldn’t have been more than six years old.
The Chinatown Entrance Gate
Gate at night like an Chinese Dragon welcoming you into its’ lair
Mother liked to take me down there in the early evenings when the rhythmic pulse of the community was in its’ best display. We never went to the same Restaurant but always prowled for the different or most authentic.
Many times however a movie replaced the Chinatown excursion capped with a stop for a Black and White Milk Shake or in Moms case a Chocolate Ice Cream Soda.
These occasions with Mother came with a price. Etiquette classes! I was schooled in table manners, proper way to walk with a lady, and most importantly how to listen and talk in a meaningful conversation. Things like not excusing yourself from the table to blow your nose to this day strike terror in me because I can still see Mothers rod of correction (her right arm) mounting its’ attack to my bottom.
These lessons went on and never really stopped until Mom was satisfied that her son would not embarrass himself or his company because of his lack of manners.
Memories of these times with Mom reinforce the feelings of how important it is for parents to instruct and train the charges under their influence. Fifty years after my graduating from Mothers Boot Camp I was visiting her. Time had taken its’ measure on her. Nearly blind and hosting a dozen different ailments in that frail frame, Mom ask me to take her out one last time for one of our Mother-Son dinner dates. So off we went to a nice county restaurant. Only now I was one helping her navigate with the eyes she gave me at birth as her own eyes had long ceased to service her. It was hilarious seeing me instruct her that the peas were at three o’clock and the meat at six o’clock on her plate. To watch and listen as her wisdom and intellect remained robust while her loss of hand to mouth coordination transported me back to my own attempts at dinning in those restaurants of Chinatown. Like the Chinatown Dinners from years gone by, a good meal had to have a dessert that was some derivative of those cherished Chocolate ice cream sodas which in short order entered a place of honor with the mash potatoes and gravy on her smiling grateful face.
Now it’s my turn to grab a hanky and apply some of what would pass for that time tested cleaner “Mothers Spit”. The waitress watching me ask if I needed anything to which I responded “Maybe a garden hose would help”. Mom started laughing, I started laughing and the waitress laughing brought me another supply of napkins. That was the last time I was with Mom. She died a short time later and all I can say to her going and my loss is,
“Well done thou Good and Faithful Servant“
Certainly you’ve guessed by now my early Social Dating life was with that Life Molding Woman who first taught me the value a woman’s companionship.
Bee Bee
My Friend and Mother
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Ahh….Nelson – glad to see you are still at it – you are definitely one of my favorite bloggers
What a beautiful memory you have shared. Thanks so much for, once again, putting a smile on my face. Your writing touches us all on so many levels.
Thank you.
Lori Tisot´s last [type] ..Backing Up Facebook Profiles and Fan Pages – A Few Solutions
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Nelson Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 4:58 am
Thank you Lori, you’re a favorite commenter to me. Also what smiles around goes around
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Hey Nelson, Love you casual Friday picture. Some people may need to change their dress code with all the video marketing and video email out there now.
Thanks so much for sharing your story with your Mom. As a mother to adults now, it is so nice when they relate back stories of things we did. We have some really good laughs of sharing how each of us remembers the same event.
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Nelson Reply:
May 19th, 2011 at 9:28 am
Debi, I love to hear success stories about Mother and their kids. Gives us hope that the future is in good hands. Thanks for commenting and for the record my casual Friday guy doesn’t have a web cam on his computer which is a good thing.
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Another inspirational article Nelson – thoroughly enjoyed it! It is wonderful that you had that last date with your mom and can value the memories and the lessons.
marquita herald´s last [type] ..Alone in a Crowd
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:52 am
Marquita, a comment from you is always top drawer to me. Thanks so much and please stop by for coffee anytime.
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Nelson,
I wasn’t sure where you were going with the story at first and I got to thinking how well trained I was by my parents. It’s something that doesn’t happen today, manners and etiquette and it’s a shame.
But, as your story unfolded I got to see just where you were headed. A fine tribute to a gracious lady. You and she were lucky to have each other for the time you did.
If you would like to keep another older woman company, I’ve set up a fan page on Facebook for my Mom. She’s having a ball. Just search for Grandma’s 2 cents. Funny, but I’m getting to know her better and better from the wonderful things she posts.
Thanks, Nelson.
RICK
Rick Lelchuk´s last [type] ..Leaving Your Mark
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:51 am
Rick, you are a treasure to your Mother. I’m the better for having met you and reading a very kind comment.
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Nelson
Thank you so much for this great story. I also had a great relationship with my mother. My sisters and I were also taught well by her and we took care of her the last few months of her life. I remember some of those times we would burst out in laughter while caring for her. I must say I was a little teary eyed at the end of your story.
Have a Great Day
Chester
Chester Delameter´s last [type] ..Honor your mother and father
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:48 am
Chester, I read your post about your Dad. I feel for you. Sometimes it is just plain hard to mine the Gold that is in our lives. I appreciate you and thank you for commenting.
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Hi Nelson, what a lovely tribute to your mom. Between yours and Chester’s latest blog, I am finding myself wanting to grab hold of my parents and hug them like right now – because I am so lucky to still have them in my life. I didn’t really need a reminder to cherish them as I do anyway, but it sure is nice to read such lovely posts as affirmations of what I already know. I hope that those who might not realize this – read posts such as yours and start being grateful for their parents before it is too late. Hint to my children
I think I must have been reincarnated from an Indian tribe as I am a true believe in honoring our elders and learning from their experience and wisdom!
Julie Weishaar´s last [type] ..The World is Going Mobile …
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:46 am
Julie you like hanging out with the Generic set eh. I’m sure if I’m reading you correctly, your children will rise up one day like the writer of Proverbs 31 and call you “Blessed”. Thanks for the pleasure of having you on my blog.
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Wow Nelson! What a great story and tribute. There is nothing like a mother’s love and your post really touched me! Exposure to different cultures was a big thing in my family as well & talk about wonderful memories!
I will be back! Keep up the great postings buddy!!!!
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:42 am
I’m glad you like it Nathan. You doing a great job promoting iWowWe Keep it up.
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Thanks for sharing those great memories, Nelson, especially the last one about your mother. With all else we’re doing, it’s easy to forget that memories are what life is made of!
May you long continue to share your wit and wisdom with us.
Alan
Alan Jenkin´s last [type] ..Avoid Unnecessary Software
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:38 am
Yes it is Alan. Easy to forget what and who brought us here. Comments from friends like you do help with the aging thing. Thanks so much and come back again.
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Hi Nelson,
I LOVE your stories, nothing like a little Americana. They make me miss my grandmother who was born 1899, can u imagine all that she had experienced by the time I was able to ask her questions about her growing up, a flapper, living during and after prohibition, worked for a major movie studio head, the phone, electricity, man on the moon! Your stories are very entertaining, they make me wish I could meet you in person some day! Hang in there and keep blogging!
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:35 am
A lot in common here Leslie. Mom was a flapper also and loved doing the Charleston and the Black Bottom.( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGPnPHrrZeA ) I’m sure that we may meet either in person or on Skype.
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Nelson, what a delightful story. I love it. I loved it because it hits so close to home. I only had girls, but a mother also tries to instill manners and good behavior in their daughters. I love the title too. How many times did my mother use her spit to clean my mouth and me also clean my girls faces.
Keep em coming by friend. You have a gift. Also, I love the concept of Send Out Cards!
Your friend,
Lynn
Lynn Jones´s last [type] ..What Do You Do to Get Back on Your Feet After You Fall
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:29 am
Gender has no excuse for how and what we learn from our Mothers. I was a lucky one. Go easy on that “Spit” It still makes me laugh at how universal it is in the Human experience.
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Great post my friend. Unfortunately for me my parents were divorced at an early age so I had to figure this relationship stuff out on my own. I wish your posts were around when I was younger….lol
Thanks for the great advice.
Steve Dooley´s last [type] ..FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real Drives Network Marketers Into Extinction
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:24 am
Not an uncommon problem Steve. I never knew my Dad until later in life. I’m working on a post about him that will be posted I hope by Sunday. Check it out.
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Hi Nelson,
what a delight full post.
Love the photos too.
Our mothers ment well teaching us these manners.
Having had boys I realized that I was passing some of what my mother taught me onto them and some of it just came out automatically, even though I had ‘sworn’ not to do that to my children.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
To our mothers without whom we would not have this conversation.
Cheers,
Yorinda
Yorinda´s last [type] ..Living in Cruise mode
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:22 am
Yorinda,are a special part of life. Thankfully you and I were blessed with good ones. Thanks my Lady for commenting and here’s to our Moms.
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Hey Nelson,
I’m sorry for your loss. I can say that you were really raised well by your mom and you’re one lucky man for that. Your story about your mom would have made her proud of you. All the lessons she taught you were intact and that would have given her peace as she went away.
Paul @ Fort Wayne Internet Marketing´s last [type] ..Direct Responce Newsletters – Get Your Name Out There And Get A Responce Back!
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:19 am
Oh the loss is only temporary Paul. I’ll see her again someday in the “Land of the Unclouded Day”
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Hey Nelson
You brought a tear to my eye so now I am going to take my mother out for dinner.
Thanks for the story.
Peter
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:17 am
I’ll put the Kleenex out the next time you stop by Peter. I usually go through a box or two when I write about my Mom. She was a special gift from GOD to a young skinny kid named Nelson.
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Hi Nelson:
What a incredible and inspiring story! Very touching!
Thanks for sharing this part of your life with us!
Kevin
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:13 am
A comment from you is well respected Kevin. I love sharing even if the share is to my often stumbles that make me look bad. Thank you so much for caring to comment.
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Nelson, you are a treasure among bloggers as your heartwarming and funny story here proves to me again beyond a doubt. Memories of my own mother’s love for me still sustain me in good and bad times, something no one can take away from me. I consider it a life lived happily and well when you can share love and laughter like you and your mom did. And thank you for sharing that here as well.
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:11 am
Your most kind Monika. Memories are what keeps me going. And I have had a life well lived even if my miscues out number my wins.
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Hi Nelson-
This is my first time to your website and I really enjoyed your post about your mother. It really hit close to home for me as my mother also made sure I was well-mannered and ready for the world. Thank so much for taking the time to recount your wonderful memories for all of us.
Tony Tate
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Nelson Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 11:07 am
Welcome first timer. Great to have you drop in. Our Mothers are a treasure I wish everybody could have had. Thanks for commenting and do come back as the Coffee is always on.
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Hey Nelson,
Miss you – hope you’ll be posting something new soon …
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Great post, Nelson! I can only imagine seeing the sights at such a young age. I’ll bet that was quite a shock from Nicetown. It was great to read your post and read about the ways your mom has affected your life, and I thought it was interesting the way you framed it that trips to Chinatown were really hidden etiquette lessons
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Hi Nelson,
It’s wonderful that your mom’s mind was so clear and her sense of humour intact, up till the end. Like so many of our generation, I don’t relish the thought of putting my children through anything like that. But none of our children will hear of ever putting one or both of us into a home until they can no longer take care of us.
Two of our three daughters work in a nursing home among the elderly, most of whom are suffering from some form of dementia. Both girls are wonderful with the people whose lives they touch, but it’s always a blessing to work with someone whose mind is sharp. They always have such interesting stories to tell.
Thanks for sharing your mother with us, Nelson.
Willena
Willena Flewelling´s last [type] ..Some Thoughts on Growth
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Hi Nelson,
Great story of you and your mom.
It’s a good reminder to me that as a parent I have so much influence on my kids in the early years and I should make sure they are learning things the right way.
Thanks for sharing!
-Kevin
Kevin Schmidt´s last [type] ..Are You Using a Tribe to Get Superb Comments and Targeted Traffic to Your Blog? You Should be…
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